Is there not something devoid of emotion when swiping left or right on a dating app?
I downloaded a certain dating app a few months ago in hope of finding something that would be exciting, new and unknown and instead 3 months later I feel mostly ambivalent about it and wish I lived in a time when dating and meeting people didn’t exist in an app.
I love old movies and the meet cutes and dashing leading men, a simpler time of meeting people in real life and having a face to face conversation. Not that this can’t be done today but in todays modern world I think that there is so much expectation on our time that traditional dating methods feel more like a task then an opportunity to meet people. I’m not the type of person who hangs out at a cocktail bar or club so this felt like a logical option.
When I set up my profile I was full of hope and had my balance of natural and jazzy pics as I like to call them - those pictures when you feel like you look a million dollars and filled out the prompts and bio and sat waiting expectantly after my first session of swiping. A couple of matches happened, the first one ghosted me after 24 hours - I completely freaked when the first match happened - the art of conversation completely left my head and the thought of starting it completely freaked me out. But alas my mini breakdown came to no avail as he didn’t reply so he disappeared like the shadows into the night.
The second one looked more promising and through some FBI style sleuthing I even managed to find them on Google - I was emboldened by the fact I knew a little more about them then their profile gave a away, so I had further topics and questions I could ask knowing it was going to be in topics they were interested in. In case the conversation went dry. Obviously not revealing this too early otherwise I would look stalker ish and that was not my intention. But alas again the conversation stumbled after a few days, he was very self righteous and didn’t ask me anything. So I unmatched and that was that.
A couple more conversations occurred but nothing really happened and then I began to realise the app listens to you along with all the other apps as when I mentioned certain names in conversation with people suddenly they were all called James! It was kind of eerie and put me off for a while.
I wish I was one of those people who could join a gym, start having a conversation and say let’s meet for coffee but I can’t. I think it’s the English reserve in me but also my insecurities as well.
I swiped again this morning, fresh full of hope that something may happen and someone may match. The unnerving thing is when you swipe left and it then it tells you this person actually swiped you right. You then question your judgment and you think wait come back! But alas it’s too late.
What are your experiences with dating apps and dating in general? Is dating in the modern world a burden, fun or something that you do on the side not paying that much attention to it but knowing it’s there like a niggling thought.
I’m not sure what the future holds for me and the app, I think in my head I want someone to basically sweep me off my feet and we run off into the sunset but realistically I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. Maybe I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.