New? Or trying to figure it out

When time is no longer filled and you have to connect the dots.

‘Let go of what has passed.

Let go of what may come.

 Let go of what is happening now.

Don’t try to figure anything out.

Don’t try to make anything happen.

Relax right now, and rest.’

  Tilopa

I feel like I’m in a weird space right now, like my head and body are still spinning from the course I’ve just finished.

I’m in the strange processing phase and I can’t quite figure out what I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve downloaded a movement app as throughout my two week course I was doing some kind of movement and exercise every day. It felt important to carry that on and after I’ve done it I feel so much better. It feels like it clears my mind and alters my mood. I’ve also attended two weekday lunches and I feel like a prize winner or a divorcee mom who is enjoying her freedom. I might have to invest in some Juicy Couture pieces and a wide brimmed hat…. lol

Trying to figure out this new path whilst also resting and recovering from the old feels like a balancing act. It’s odd how I can not yet just ruminate in the silence and sit in the shadow of indecision. Maybe as I was so active and had no time to think coming back to contemplate my future has remained at arms length.

I know that the feeling or thought of what is about to come next will arrive eventually. I think it’s the fact that I haven’t actually stopped yet, I haven’t fully processed my job leaving and the impact of this which means I’m still in a state of flux. I haven’t opened my body and mind to receive this and as a result my receptors aren’t fully functioning.

I do believe that acceptance is key when moving on, I have accepted my choice and know I have made the right decision as I had a moment where everyone turned right and I could turn left. I know I’m not giving the context of the situation but the freedom knowing I had the power to turn left was hugely significant. But I still feel like the cogs of process are still churning inside of me.

I am a great believer in what we learn becomes a part of who we are. Life is a series of events and moments in time that are linked together but not necessarily connected. How we thread together these things and internalise them determines how they impact us and ultimately how they shape our lives moving forward.

I do have faith in the process even though my path is not crystal clear.

I need to take heed of the words of Tilopa and rest and relax.

Are you at a stage where you are figuring out your next step? Or have you already done it?

Let me know and if you feel like it please leave a like and comment.