Pieces of the puzzle
Identifying things that bring back your power.
Agency - The feeling of being in the driving seat when it comes to our actions. The sense of control that you feel in your life, your capacity to influence your own thoughts and behaviour, and have faith in your ability to handle a wide range of tasks and situations.
This week seems to be made up of small things, from movement to listening to songs, to dancing and reading a poem. The little things that have brought me back are important and so I thought I would share. The piece weaves from one place to another but I think that’s a good thing.
The poem by Erin Hanson feels really powerful at the moment, all this raw energy is beginning to emerge and I am starting to feel alive again. I’ve pressed play again on the journey I had started. I think when I came home I pressed pause because it was overwhelming and I had to adjust back to real life. I felt like I was underwater but slowly I feel like I am rising from the depth and stepping back into real time. Its amazing how your body and mind know when you need time to process something life changing, the state I was in was almost in slow motion, but now I can think and see clearly. The gauze has been lifted and the headiness has disappeared.
There is a song that seems to be following me around at the moment, Green Garden by Laura Mvula. It is one that I had not heard for a while and then a couple of weeks ago it was played in one of the warm ups of a devised class I was in and its stuck with me ever since. Whenever I hear it brings back lots of memories but also takes me to a state of joy, which is a warm and comforting feeling.
Green Garden
Take me outside, sit in the green garden
Nobody out there, but it's okay now,
bath in the sunlight, don't mind if rain falls,
take me outside, sit in the green garden,
Uh ah, uh ah uh,
Uh ah, uh ah uh
And I'll fly on the wings of a butterfly
high as a tree top and down again
putting my bag down, taking my shoes off
walk in the carpet of green velvet
Dance in my garden like we used to,
Uh ah, uh ah uh
Dance in my garden like we used to,
Uh ah, uh ah uh
Take me outside, sit in the green garden
nobody out there, but it's okay now,
bath in the sunlight, don't mind if rain falls,
take me out, seat in the green garden
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go
And I'll fly on the wings of a butterfly
highs of tree top and down again
putting my bag down, taking my shoes off
walk in the carpet of green velvet
Dance in my garden like we used to,
the dance.
Dance in my garden like we used to..
Uh ah, uh ah uh
Take me outside, take me outside,
take me outside, sit in the green garden.
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go
I'll go, wherever you go, wherever you take me, I'll go.
Power is also something that keeps appearing, I recently listened to a vocal warm up and it reminded me that when you lose your power you are not engaged with your full self. To gain or seek it back you have to be engaged with your full self, this can take time but there are ways to return it. Getting out of my head and into the world seems to be one of things for me that restores some power. Also getting the whole of my body involved in either a quick movement, stretch or breathing exercise really centres me and opens me back up.
I also did an exercise of things you love, its amazing how this can also alter how you feel about things. For food I had written the below, it also astounded me how much the food was attached to memories and it brought me back to the real world as it was comforting and familiar.
I love steak with butter
I love crispy duck pancakes
I love roast beef with all the trimmings
I love slices of garlic bread slightly burnt
There are so many ways to get your power back, big things and small things. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it works for you.
Do you have any go to things to help bring back your power or agency? I would love to know.