Refresh, Renew and Reflect
This week I'm wandering between thoughts.
Summer/Autumn
The summer months feel like a speeding train, pulsing forward and constantly moving, making it hard not to get caught up in the urgency of them. It feels surreal that we are nearing the end of August, as the transition between winter and spring felt like it was stuck in treacle, with the months moving at a glacial pace. Whilst June, July and August feel like they have moved at hyper speed.
Over the past few months I’ve realised that the busyness of summer does not align with me and I’ve worked hard to carve out moments of peace and quiet during this time. This realisation has been further confirmed over the last few days as I’ve noticed there seems to be a seasonal shift occurring. The days seem cooler, the nights fresher and this change in weather has made me drop my shoulders and visibly relax. Making me realise that the season that appeals to me the most is on its way.
I know for a fact that I am an autumn girl, as the pace of the autumn months suit me better. I feel more aligned, relaxed and reflective during this season. Summer often feels like a time when you have to achieve something, that if you don’t take advantage of the longer days you are wasting the sunshine and opportunities it brings.
But then I remember that optimal achievement is just a construct created by a society that tries to make us live a fast-paced, goal-orientated life. Taking a step back and ignoring the noise, and listening to what works for me means that I can apply a pace of life that suits me. Not one that feels forced upon me, which is out of sync with my natural autumnal inner rhythm.
Finding Yourself On The Floor
I remember once arriving home from work and sinking onto the hallway floor, I sat motionless for 20 minutes as my mind and body caught up with my day. Allowing all the emotions and days events to wash over me felt draining after blocking them out all day. In that moment, I vowed that I never wanted to experience that feeling again. By not observing and processing in real time how I was reacting to things, I was creating an unhealthy and stressful inner environment that I knew I needed to change.
Ever since I stripped back my life and stepped off the hamster wheel, I have been able to listen to what my body and mind need, releasing what no longer serves me in real time. I can acutely feel now if I ignore my feelings and emotions, which makes me realise how much I was drowning them out with all the stress and unnecessary noise that once cocooned me.
Deep Within
There are days when my inner weather system is dark and cloudy, so I know I need to disperse the fog. I turn on the TV, put on YouTube and blast out Mystify by INXS. It’s my go-to song when I need to dance with abandon, throwing shapes that release any tension that has built up over the day. Other days I find I need to meditate and practise yoga to find an inner calm. Sometimes I require complete silence and peace and I find that walking by the sea helps, and other days I need vibrancy and energy to get myself back up to par.
Finding my balance hasn’t been easy, and it’s taken time, but it’s made a huge difference in my life. I have realised that how I treat myself makes a huge difference to my mental and physical wellbeing. Now that I am more attuned to what I need, I fill my cup back up accordingly.
Final Thoughts
I feel like I’m entering a time of reconfiguration. A gentler pace of life is emerging, and the sense of urgency that summer created is slowly dissipating.
Do you have a season that you prefer? Do you match the pace of summer? Or do you row your boat at your own speed?
Have you ever experienced a moment of realisation?
Autumn is my favourite. I never seem to get the balance right in summer and the last two months were difficult personally. I always love stepping into September as my birthday is the 1st. I danced around the Taylor Swift - Shake it off - as that’s my go to for just releasing the trapped tension and stress 💃🏼 x