I thought I had closed the door on sport and exercise, so what made me open it again?
The journey of a non-sporty kid to a yoga loving adult
When I was a child I was never a ‘sporty’ kid, I was self-conscious, hated team sports and never stuck to one sport long enough to make it really stick. During my childhood and teenage years I tried out many sports, including trampolining, swimming, squash, netball, volleyball, Octopush (underwater hockey) Pilates, dance (the less said about that, the better) Thai Boxing and aqua aerobics. Each one held my attention for a few months at best, and a couple of years at a push for trampolining. But I never had the motivation to carry them on long term, nor the desire to achieve a high level of performance in any of them.
My dislike for taking part in sports was also related to my lack of confidence and how self-conscious I felt when I took part in them. Once on a school sports day, I was picked on the spot by our substitute teacher to run a race as they had forgotten earlier in the day to sign someone up from the class to take part. As you can guess, I came last, which along with causing a high level of embarrassment further added to my dislike of competitive sports.
Taking part in a sport was never something that interested me, despite growing up with quite sporty parents. They regularly attended the local leisure centre to go to the gym, classes, and play in games of squash. They encouraged me to try things out, but their enthusiasm didn’t rub off on me, resulting in a list as long as your arm of all the sports I tried out during my formative years.
When I reached my early twenties, I thought that I should do some kind of exercise to help build up my stamina and general level of fitness, so I started going to the gym. The novelty of multiple tv screens, blaring music and doing exercise only lasted for a short while, and eventually I stopped going as it just wasn’t my vibe. I also ended up attending a couple of yoga and Pilates classes during this time, but I used to feel awkward as I was surrounded by Lycra clad classmates who all seemed to be able to bend like a pretzel, capturing the poses perfectly, whilst I could never get my body to contort into the shapes.
These experiences ended up being my last endeavours into doing any kind of exercise during my twenties. Coupled with getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, it closed me off to any kind of sports activity that involved movement or physical activity, as I was too scared to encounter a Hypo1. I also didn’t want to deal with the hassle of altering insulin doses, as it was already enough trying to figure it out without the pressure of adding exercise into the equation. It would take me reaching my mid-thirties before I felt comfortable to try a form of exercise again.
So, what triggered this change, you may ask? Well, it was all down to a summer acting school I attended last year. This was a totally off the cuff, jump in feet first, feel the fear and do it anyway experience. My mind and body were absolutely screaming out to do something creative, and this seemed like the most out of the box and totally unbelievable thing I could do.
I signed up not really knowing what to expect and when I received the timetable I was giddy, scared and went through the full range of emotions. I noticed amongst the acting classes there were also dance and movement classes, and on my first day, my first class would be a movement class. I was petrified, no word of a lie. I brought some sports leggings and a baggy top and got ready to face my fears. Little did I know how important this class would become.
Unbelievably, this class completely changed my relationship with how I felt about my body, posture and being open to taking part in a class. I realised that I had made myself so small and closed off that I completely blocked out how doing some gentle movement made me feel, which was open, tall, and brave. I cried in that lesson, being surrounded by others who were all so open created an energy that gave me back my power. It made me realise that I could do these things, and my endorphins kicked in with a vengeance. Throughout the two weeks I threw myself wholeheartedly into everything as it was such a safe and special environment. Each day we would start a lesson with some kind of warm up or movement exercise, and this totally changed my way of thinking and attitude to exercise.
By the end of the course I decided that I needed to carry on, so when I returned home I turned to an app called Pliability, which had videos on it that combined stretching exercises, strength exercises and Pilates moves. Doing the exercise at home, at my own pace, really appealed to me, and it built on the momentum from the course. I ended up doing a couple of videos a week combined with taking walks in the forest and by the sea. It kept me going and helped a great deal when I travelled to Australia, as it built up my stamina and confidence and made me realise I could be active if I wanted to be. It also made me better understand the relationship between exercise and diabetes and the effects that it had, I wasn’t scared of it any more and I also noticed it had a positive impact on my mental health and diabetes control.
Pliability was a great jumping-off point for me and helped me find my exercise groove, but after a few months my interest was starting to wane, as I was starting to find it repetitive. I knew that I needed to find something new, but I wasn’t sure what it was going to be. My answer arrived a few days before Christmas, courtesy of
’s ICYMI (a monthly curation of recommendations, hand-picked by Sian, where each pick is followed by a thoughtful paragraph about the subject). Amongst all of Sian’s excellent recommendations, one thing that she mentioned that particularly piqued my interest was Yoga with Adriene and her 30-Day Yoga Journey that was going to start up again on the 1st of January.I decided to explore it further and looked into Adriene, her ethos and energy really appealed to me, so I signed up. Flow- A 30 Day Yoga Journey saw me through the normally dark and depressing January with a new attitude. The month whizzed by and I thoroughly enjoyed my yoga experience with her and Benji. Seven months later and I am still going strong. I can see changes in my mind, body and soul and I attribute it all to Adriene, as she combines the yoga practice with breath work, meditation and mindfulness. It’s kept me going through uncertain times and helped me find what feels good. I do yoga now every day, mostly along with Adriene on the mat and other times by myself, even if it’s just for 5 minutes. It’s made such a huge difference in my life and it’s helped me with letting out emotions, finding clarity, and an inner calmness.
I have also found that it has helped me with my writing. Sometimes I have no idea what to write next so I do some yoga. By the time I have finished, an idea is pouring out of me. It completely relaxes my mind and this seems to bring my ideas to the forefront.
My relationship with exercise has completely changed, it’s like the all puzzle pieces have finally clicked into place after years of trying to figure it out. Taking a different perspective and finding a path that works for me has totally changed my mindset and I feel happier and healthier. When I did the acting course I was the most vulnerable and open I had been in a long time and this experience gave me the confidence to explore exercise again. It may have taken me to my thirties to get here, but sometimes the right answer appears when we are most ready and receptive to receive it.
How do you feel about your relationship with exercise or movement? Have you encountered something that has made a huge difference in your life? I would love to know :)
A low blood sugar level, also called hypoglycaemia or a ‘hypo"’ is where the level of sugar (glucose) in your blood drops too low, below 4mmol/l. www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/complications/hypos