There is a moment during a new job hunt that you remember and realise that it is a long and laborious process. You completely forget the effort it takes to fill out applications and all the questions that pepper them. I have applied for many jobs before and each time undergone the application dance but somehow the grind of doing these seems to slip away from memory until you are knee deep in them again.
I choose to put myself on this path, its the inevitable next step after I ripped the band aid off by quitting my job… time has past and now the acting summer school is an experience that happened almost two months ago. There are times when I think what have I done and others when I feel the power pulsing through me knowing I have made the right decision.
I know that I have to trust the process and the right path will unfold. It may be a job, it may be a course or may be that I move half way across the world… who knows.
Running alongside this process I recently had some really interesting interactions on Substack about the things that happened to people at the age of 34, which has made me reflective ( I am fast approaching this birthday) it has also made me sigh with relief at the choices I have made - as your courage and conviction can sometimes get lost when you are in the abyss of a job hunt or a new direction.
Especially a piece recently published by Elizabeth Gilbert who has just joined Substack. (I am currently near the end of reading her book Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear) Her first piece amongst other things centres around Eat Pray Love - she talked about its 20th anniversary and the fact she was 34 when she went on the journey and wrote it. It completely changed her life- she walked away from all she knew and it resulted in this book. It gave me enormous hope and also confidence to know that my intuition to walk away wasn’t rash or misguided. It was the right thing to do.
I also had an eye opening exchange with Sian Clifford who also like Liz had a life changing moment as at the age of 34, she filmed the first season of Fleabag. She also celebrated her 20 year friendship anniversary with Phoebe Waller Bridge the same day as Liz’s book 20th anniversary. It kind of amazed me how these two anniversaries coincided with each other on the same date and that they also experienced life changing events when they were 34. Life moves in mysterious ways and these two things arrived right when I was starting to think WHAT DO I DO NEXT????????
I was also about to publish a piece about taking a break from writing, it was all ready to go and scheduled and as I got closer to the release time I felt miserable. I thought it was what I needed to do in order to clear my mind and focus but instead it had completely the opposite effect. I logged on and completely deleted the piece. It was like the universe decided to deliver these two things at exactly the time I needed them. An amazing testament to the Substack community. A little reminder that anything can happen to nudge you back onto your path.
I had always felt that my 30’s would be my time and I definitely feel like that is the case, as I feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin and my power. However it it can be difficult sometimes not to put to much pressure on this time of my life. I’ve just got to trust the process.
I googled ‘What does 34 mean in numerology?’ and this is what I found.
The number 3 represents creativity, self-expression, and spiritual growth, while the number 4 represents stability, organization, and practicality. When combined, the number 34 symbolizes a balance between creativity and practicality in your life.
It feels oddly fitting considering the last few months I feel I have grown and that I have been on a journey. I am grateful that certain things worked out and certain things didn’t. Maybe the next chapter of my life is slowly working itself out and when I turn 34 I will have more clarity.